Today I Was Loved - Day 7

Calories - 1,600

Exercise - 20 minutes pulling weeds, 45 minutes spinning

Water - 75 ounces

Weight - 260 pounds

I was totally motivated to workout and then I went to work. By the time I was off, the last thing I wanted to do was workout. I wanted to be lazy and not do anything. When this lack of motivation is really bad, like so bad that I can tell I'm not going to workout, then I watch an episode of Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition. I watch these people who are so morbidly obese and see them lose weight, workout everyday and eat healthy. It makes me think that if they can do this, so can I. I have no excuse to not workout because I'm far healthier than a 700 pound man and should take advantage of it. Those episodes give me motivation and I love them. I love seeing them transform into the person they have always wanted to be. If you get a chance you should watch them, they are on hulu.com.

So after watching an episode, I was ready to climb a mountain and then swim the ocean I was so motivated. I got a call from my sister though and she told me that she was going to go over to my moms and mow her lawn. She is so sweet and always thinking of others. I need to be more like her. So I went over too and pulled weeds. I didn't really kill myself doing it because there were just a few weeds here and there. But it wasn't the exercise I was going for, I just wanted to make sure my moms front yard looked good. After, me, my sister and mom sat around and talked and a surge of insecurity hit me. I asked them if they felt like they had to be excited for me when I lost weight because I do this all the time. They laughed and reassured me that they were proud of what I was doing. I loved being with them.

After my sister left, I stayed with my mom for a bit and talked and laughed with her. I had to drag myself away though and go exercise. I hate leaving her. I wanted to just stay there with her all night to laugh and talk.

I went to the rec. center and rode their spinning bike. I like the spinning bike because I get more resistance with it and I can bike standing up. Plus, the bike is facing this massive window and so I get to look outside while I bike. Watching the continuous flow of cars come is almost hypnotizing and soothing to watch, as I kill myself on the bike. Normally I will bike in the morning or afternoon, but it was night and so there was a glare on the window and I could see myself perfectly in it. When I would get to the point where I didn't feel like I could do more I would keep pushing and pushing. I would watch my legs move up and down in the window and imagine them skinny. The battle between my mind and body was a massive fight, but my mind won. I got the killer workout I was looking for and was ready to fall asleep the moment I got home.

On a side note... my husband remembered me saying, one time, that I wanted a teapot with a steeper inside so that I could make loose teas. Being the best husband ever, he bought me an awesome teapot with a steeper! I'm so excited for it. He said that he was making up for not getting me anything on Valentines. He is so sweet.

So today I was loved. I was loved by my sister for calling and talking to me. She could have called anyone else but wanted to talk to me and I love her for that. I was loved by my mom. She is so supportive of me and I had so much fun being with her. I was loved by my husband for the cute texts I get through out the day and the awesome teapot he got me. He also loves me for losing weight with him. It is much easier when he and I are both motivated to lose weight. Lastly, I was loved by myself today. As hard as the workout got and as much as I wanted to give up, I kept going. I did it for me. I did it for my self-esteem. I did it because I love myself enough to push harder than I have before.